Don’t worry I’ve been released by Airport Security, Officials , Channel 7, Tiger Airways Staff and the Australian Federal Police – by Tobias Manderson-Galvin
“Tobias Manderson-Galvin has been called many things. Most too foul or humorous to print in what is a serious piece of journalistic prose. But a terrorist?
the offending package
PHOTO BY MAX MILNE
Well, yes there was that incident back in 2003 involving the poetry but it is better not to discuss it again when more pressing issues are at hand.
Yesterday at around one in the afternoon, Melbourne time, a set of fake explosives was discovered in Manderson-Galvin’s luggage as he attempted to board a flight to Adelaide.
“It looks like the real deal,” said an obviously stressed Federal Police officer into his hand held radio as he called for back-up. The Federal Police were urgently summonsed by an alert and alarmed swarm of security personnel, airport staff and a Channel Seven film crew who were simply amazed that anyone could be so daring and so handsome as our young hero.
The device he was carrying is a prop – or so Manderson-Galvin claims – for the smash-hit stage show, Tom Doig’s ‘Hitlerhoff’. The revolutionary show is yet to open to the Adelaide Fringe and already it seems that government saboteurs could well be at work. The explosive has been confiscated permanently by the Federal Police but they have as yet made no official statement to the media as what will happen to the 9 pieces of wood painted red, the 4 inches of aluminium wire and the shiny silver alarm clock. Presumably it will be relegated to a cupboard or storeroom with legitimate explosive devices and restricted articles, a condition that will make it feel either ashamed at it’s in-genuine nature or proud to have somehow, against all odds, been taken seriously by anyone other than Wile. E Coyote.
Airport security and officials, Channel 7, Tiger Airways staff and the AFP all took turns at ‘discussing’ the matter with Hitlerhoff star Manderson-Galvin as well as the show’s Director Erin Kelly. A happy irony that perhaps this was one interrogation where a strip search did not need much persuasion and all could marvel at the power of the hidden goods with wonder and excitement.
Fortunately Manderson-Galvin and Hitlerhoff Director Erin Kelly were eventually allowed on to the plane by the airline who showed great compassion in holding the plane whilst the interrogation was conducted by the Federal Police and when the stewardesses were done ‘assisting’ the Hitlerhoff star onto the plane, it eventually left the tarmac- more than an hour after its scheduled departure time.
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… there was a Channel 7 camera crew, filming a show called Border Security or something similar. They were talking to Tobias, because he looked funny – hair in curlers, suit and bow-tie – and were filming when Tobias and Erin had to repack their carry-on baggage, because it weighed too much … when this happened, the prop “bomb” was noticed by airport staff, and all hell (well, a little bit of hell) broke loose. Tobi and Erin made it to Adelaide in time for his performance on the Pod stage – just – but they were thoroughly rattled by the whole thing. HOWEVER, in a piece of good news, Channel 7 loved the footage they got, and are going to send a camera crew to Adelaide to film us building a new bomb for opening night, and will film opening night on Tuesday 10 March for their show … 15 seconds of tragic Aussie reality TV fame, coming up!
